Every time I go to the grocery store there is a moment right after I leave that I feel like I might cry. This feeling has dissipated over the last six weeks but I do still have it, I had it this morning in fact, right after I walked out of the swoosh-y automatic doors at Heinen’s.
I am the kind of person who, if I am angry or frustrated or need to confront someone about something, these feelings often manifest themselves via tears. This sucks because many times when I have wanted to be handing someone their ass I end up crying, and then I apologize for the crying and everyone feels awkward and I didn’t even get to do the ass-handing.
Anyway, all this to say that I am not getting that sad or upset at the grocery store. It is just what it all represents, the masks and the empty shelves and the line to get in and the tape on the floor and the partitions and the buying limits. It’s just such a mess, all of it.
I dropped the dogs off at daycare a.k.a. “school,” which is the one-syllable word we use to indicate that we are going! to! a specific place! to have! FUN! The puppy doesn’t get that word yet but the older one sure does. Sometimes it is hard to tell if he is excited or nervous but I guess in prancy little dogs both of these feelings are the same.
Our first dog, may he rest in peace, knew a LOT of words (well, for a dog). He knew treats, food, toy, and a half-dozen or so other ones. Some of them we had to spell out but later in his life he also figured out what W-A-L-K and then just “W” meant, too.
The puppy knows “toy” now and when you ask her where’s your TOY?? she stands still and looks around like an elderly lady searching for her spectacles and it’s really very funny. She is increasingly dear to me with each passing day, which is very annoying. Next week she goes to the vet for her spay surgery and I am not looking forward to two weeks with a stupid cone, which she will despise. Perhaps I can use my newfound sewing skills to fashion her a sort of incision-covering puppy jumpsuit instead? I tried to do this with our first dog when he had a lipoma removed from his leg and wouldn’t leave the stitches alone. He very patiently bore all my (unsuccessful) attempts to essentially make him a pair of dog pants out of tube socks.
I may have mentioned here before the concept of the “hell zone” where you can go a few days feeling pretty okay about things and then you read too many news stories or think too deeply about things and BOOM you’re in the hell zone. I might be heading toward a hell zone time? I don’t feel abjectly horrible or anything but there is that sense of Creeping Dread™ that gets in from time to time. Of course this might be due to grocery store dystopia but it might also be due to…reality. Hard to say! What is life, what is time!
So, here’s the food part: Tonight I’m making chicken tikka masala and tomorrow we’re going to Instant Pot some pulled pork. This is the recipe I’ve used that gets the most raves, so don’t pay attention to its middling ratings. (Generally anything I’ve found on The Kitchn is pretty foolproof, despite their late-aughts tech bullshit dropped “e.”) Saturday will be pulled pork tacos and Sunday will be pulled pork pizza, probably with some pineapple, don’t @ me.