#203
Just Some Lady
Have you played much with ChatGPT? I am a content marketer so I have spent a lot of time since November watching growth marketing bros shit their pants about it on LinkedIn. Will it take our jobs? I mean, look: environmental collapse is imminent. There are bigger things to worry about than how long you can keep your typing emails job.
Anyway: it might take your job, but you should probably just learn to use generative AI. Then you can have a typing emails job talking to robots and making them type the emails.
I did think it would be fun to see if ChatGPT could take this job – that is, the job of being me. So I gave it a prompt.
And this is what it gave me:
Well, hello there! It's your favorite sarcastic yet soft-hearted middle-aged woman here to give you a weekly update on my shenanigans.
Let's start with the important stuff - my weekly intake of rosé. I'm happy to report that I've managed to keep my consumption at a steady level of "just enough to take the edge off." I mean, who needs a therapist when you have a chilled glass of pink wine, am I right?
As for my desk snacks, I've been on a bit of a mini Reese's cup bender lately. I mean, they're the perfect combination of peanut butter and chocolate, and they're small enough that I can convince myself that eating ten of them is basically the same as eating one regular-sized cup. Don't judge me until you've tried it.
Speaking of work, let's just say that some people at the office have been testing my patience. I won't name any names, but there's a certain coworker who thinks that forwarding me every single email they receive is a good use of their time. News flash, Brenda - I don't need to be CC'd on the company-wide memo about the break room microwave being out of order.
But enough about work drama. In other news, I've been spending my weekends binging true crime documentaries on Netflix and pretending that I'm a detective. I've also started taking yoga classes, which is quite the departure for me considering the most exercise I've gotten in the past decade was walking from my car to the front door of the grocery store.
All in all, life is good. I have my rosé, my Reese's cups, and my eye rolls at work to keep me going. Until next time, stay sassy, my friends.
There are a few things here that bug me: one, I am not THAT big of a true crime fan and two, the crack about the exercise. (I order my groceries online, so this robot isn’t even that smart.) Also, I would also never say “stay sassy.” That is just offensive.
After I read this masterpiece I had a question.
At that point the robot apologized to me for making very broad assumptions based on my prompt (I am guessing the wine and Reese’s cups in particular) and then tried to get me to feel sorry for it by saying it does not get to have experiences like going to yoga classes. Boohoo, talk to me when you are typing my emails in five years. We will certainly revisit this in your annual review!