A few weekends ago I learned on Twitter that some people have very strong opinions about Elf on the Shelf. I already knew that parents often have a fraught relationship with these things but wow. For some people, it is a lot deeper than that!
I get thinking the Elf is annoying but it seems a little rich to decry it as an instrument of “surveillance capitalism” when Santa is already a thing. Is it different because Santa is supposed to spy on kids himself and then just make a weird list of who is good and who is bad, as opposed to the Elf, who is a snitch? Seems like a fine distinction to me!
Also, some people need to calm down. Like…you’re not that upset about Elf on the Shelf. Maybe speak to someone about that.
We boarded the dogs one night recently so they could be out of the way for a real estate appraiser to come and judge us, and also so we could eat nice cheese and paté without anyone’s pointy little nose being up in our business. I don’t know what they did at school for that one day but they came home the next morning and slept fairly solidly for 12 hours. One time I even checked to make sure the little one was still breathing.
I don’t know about you, but time continues to take on new weird qualities. Every week I think it will take just ages to get to Friday, and then in the blink of an eye, it is already Thursday. Mornings seem to go on forever; afternoons take about 15 minutes. I had one nightmare day of meetings last week, the kind where they’re not back to back but interspersed with annoying little half-hour and 15-minute breaks that aren’t long enough to accomplish anything. Instead of wasting them on the internet, I gave myself permission to sew. This went pretty well (although I definitely need a real sewing table instead of my parents’ round Formica-topped bistro table from 1967) and I do not regret having done it.
I’m pleased to say that I’m nearly done with the quilt I’m making for my niece, although I was not able to deliver it by her birthday, which was yesterday. I will probably finish it this week, though, and I’m going to say that counts. Right now I am just hand-finishing the binding, which I thought I would find tedious and fussy but it is easy and rather relaxing. I don’t like that I need to wear reading glasses in order to do it properly, but I’ll live.
Today one of my friends mentioned that she was getting Mexican carryout for dinner and I had a very strong desire to go to a Mexican restaurant and leisurely and mindlessly consume chips and salsa while drinking an extremely large margarita the color of Mr. Clean, the kind that comes in one of those cactus-stemmed novelty glasses. I want to order an enchilada combination and guacamole on the side and overhear a sports broadcast I don’t care about from a TV mounted high over the bar. I want to smell whatever is frying in the fryer.
Does it seem like this wild and precious dream might come true next year? These small random fantasies have the strongest pull for me right now, stronger than any daydream about rescheduling vacations or seeing family. I’m hoping time might mutate again and make the next few months go by a little faster, I really want that margarita.